haitchem (![[personal profile]](http://s.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small} haitchem) wrote in ![[community profile]](http://s.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small} star_trek_flashfic,@ 2009-05-28 12:00:00 |
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| Current location: | work (shh, don't tell anyone) |
| Current mood: |  accomplished |
| Entry tags: | author: haitchem |
Author -
haitchemRating - PG-13 for adult concepts
Fandom - ST:Reboot movie
Summary - An anonymous entry on the student message board under “Unofficial Survival Guide for Cadets”
An anonymous entry on the student message board under “Unofficial Survival Guide for Cadets”
Hard Earned Advice For Cadets of Starfleet Academy
1. Limit terms of a judgmental nature in all situations, you don’t know the culture of the person you are criticizing. Example, Cadet Kirk is not a ‘gonad driven man slut’, he is a ‘sex positive individual’.
2. As sexual behavior is both biologically and culturally driven, the way to your desired partner’s acceptance will be potentially complicated. Be wary of senior cadets giving ‘advice’ regarding approaching another cadet for relations of an intimate nature. Example, Human females do not ‘keep furry animals in their pants to keep their groins warm’ therefore it is not appropriate to ask to ‘pat their tribble’.
3. Beware of terms in Standard meaning something quite different in translation. Example, Do not call the Irdesh cadets ‘special snowflakes’ on a dare unless you want to spend hours in the infirmary after being dropped from their anti grav units over the side of a building ‘to see if you shatter or splatter’.
4. In a related matter, if you are being disciplined for an infraction, it is not appropriate to offer to sacrifice another cadet for forgiveness. Example, Tying Cadet Kirk to a pylon and giving the plasma engineering professor a heavy resonance spanner will not alleviate the punishment coming to you for believing Cadet Kirk when he promised that ‘no one will know, seriously, will you lighten up?’
5. Vulcan’s do not lie. Neither do they joke. Example, When Commander Spock tells you that misuse of a teaching tool for its vibrational properties will cause ‘your genitals to shrivel and fall off if medical attention is not immediately sought’….believe him. Then see point 4 above.
7. Do not let exasperating actions blind you to other virtues. Judgments of character traits are always best made knowing the context. Behavior that is unacceptable in one situation is admirable in another. Example, the refusal to accept a no-win scenario is worth an academic reprimand in one context and a medal and command post in another.
Hard Earned Advice For Graduates of Starfleet Academy
Don’t go drinking with James T Kirk unless you have bail money, knowledge of local trauma centres and a willingness to risk your commission for a drink that looks like iridescent sludge topped with a paper umbrella.